Thirsty Flower

She looked at the green leaves of the flower she had been given about half an hour ago. It all had happened so quickly. Before even saying okay or no, that old woman had already left this flower to her. She couldn’t do anything for a while, looking after the old woman. Then she turned her head to the flower in her hands, thinking what the hell had happened in minutes. She went back in her mind, minutes ago...she was sitting on the bank, looking at the blue sky and the shining sun above. She didn’t know if she was happy or not then. Something quaint was disturbing inside. She ascribed it to her exam. Maybe she would fail, as she always hated physics. Then she looked around to watch the hurried people from a corner to another , to catch the ship or the bus. In this boiling heat of the summer, all these seemed so tiresome and silly to her. Then she saw an old woman with grey hair and very pale skin. She was coming to her. When she was in front of her, she stood for a while, looking at her deeply . She gave the flower to her lap, saying : ‘keep it well...it is valuable for me...’ All she said was these eight words... Then she was gone through the people.... Who was she? What was this flower? Why was it so valuable to her? And why was it ‘she’ to keep this valuable flower? Was this a joke? Instead of getting answers to all these infernal questions , she drowned into them. When she got rid of her stupid-looking, she thought to throw the flower away. Who would care of a strange flower which was brought by a stranger, telling to keep it well, because it was important for HER!!! What an absurdity!!! She stood up, leaving it on the bank and walked away.... but just before going even not two meters, she fell down... Her two palms were bleeding. She looked at the ground to see if there was any stone or other shit that had made her fall... But the ground was perfectly clean. She looked once more at her palms, which were holding the flower a second ago. She realised something, that she had to take it with her. So did she. After some couples of minutes, she thought that all these were illogical. Who would believe that she was punished, because she didn’t mind an old strange woman’s request? She went to a quiet place and threw the flower down on the ground. As the flowerpot fell into pieces and the flower was strewn around, her thoughts and anger about it went away. She turned the corner, taking a deep breath. But she had forgotten to look around to check if there was any car coming. A huge Land Rover crashed her wildly and flew her to the wall there. After hitting the wall, she finally fell down on the ground, getting the last stroke... she died with this three steps... the last thing she recognized before gliding up through the sky was the piece of the flowerpot and near it was a branch of the flower... She exhaled the breath she had taken in while turning that infernal corner, her last breath on the earth, when the roots of the flower started to suck her fresh and tasty blood, what it had fancied from the beginning ...

the Black Sea

The Turks, the genteel nation whose name has been on the pages of the history for more than three thousand years….and Turkey(also called Anatolia), the precious land that Turks have ruled for about a thousand year.
Since, the Turks, we, and Turkey, our home, have a very long and old history, our culture is also extensive and noble. Settling in the middle of Asia and Europe, Turkey gathers every kind of cultures. While traveling from north to south or west to east, you can clearly recognize the differences… differences of life styles, livelihoods, foods, clothes and even sometimes the materials used for buildings. For example, in the Blacksea side, houses are wooden, but when you go to the East, you’ll see stone and clay ones. However, none of these ways are completely diverse from the general qualifications of the Turks. Various ways and styles but all reaching same points.
All the time of our history, we have been known for our hospitality and friendliness. We have been also known as good cooks. With delicious tastes addressing to every gusto, Turkish cuisine is already in a high position on the list of world’s cuisines. Almost every city has got a special meal or original ways of cooking. As I said, Turkey’s like a puzzle, you can draw lines between cities and their cultures, but they’re nothing alone, since they’re needed for completing the whole.
Like the styles of foods showing differences depending on place by place, our taste of music is also changeable. We have lots of kind of traditional music. As Turkey has seven regions, the Marmara, the Blacksea, the Mediterranean, the Aegean, the Middle Anatolia, the East Anatolia and the South-East Anatolia, we can count seven main kinds of music.
Starting with the Blacksea, we hear the sound of ‘tulum’ ( a special instrument of the Blacksea) and ‘kemençe’ (another special one, also called kemancha in English). On the whole, the Blacksea music is fast-rhythmed, that’s why people start to dance the ‘horon’ ( a folk dance of the Blacksea coastal region) While dancing, they wear some special funny costumes. For men, black trousers, a black waistcoat, black high-topped boots, a white shirt and a black cap. For women, colorful costumes with ‘peştemal’s. (cloth wrapped about the waist, usually colored in claret red, white and navy blue) Also they use some gold coins as a necklace. The lyrics of the region music are generally about love between two people, a lover suffering from his darling’s reluctance torturing him, or another one extolling his darling, a girl complaining about her casanova boy. And so on… Nonetheless, sometimes words don’t suffice for the human feelings, then only the rhythms of ‘tulum’ and ‘kemençe’ echoes among the high and steep mountains of the Blacksea. This time is when you feel the murky and melancholy air of it....
The people in the Blacksea part, whose livelihoods are, ninety per cent, from the sea, cook traditional meals with sea-products, specially with anchovy(tiny fishes, called ‘hamsi’ in Turkish). Bread, pilaf (rice cooked), or deserts with anchovy….They also use genuine Blacksea butter and cheese for meals.

As for something about history, like aforementioned qualifications of Turkey own, the Blacksea’s history is also old, too, as well as any other regions. You can easily see the original and unspoiled culture, as people here are still aware of its value. They still wear traditionally, talk traditionally, cook traditionally, and live traditionally. If you go to the Blacksea side, you’ll be gracefully welcomed, since they were told by their fathers that ‘a guest is a gift from God’. And again as a traditional common thing, but this time it’s out of date, the women generally don’t work, they don’t have any jobs like a doctor, teacher, nurse..or something… Because the most majority of them are not educated at university. Today it looks very silly. So by day by, they are changing their minds and fathers let their girls go to university now. Since we need to keep in step with time, even we face to change our old customs. However, that doesn’t mean that women sit in the house all the day, on the contrary, the Blacksea women are known as hardworking and proficient. They work in the yields of tea, corn or collard…
And …lastly… the traditional Blacksea festivals. They’re celebrated in summer on mountain pastures. Thousands of people from every part of Turkey come to join these festivals. Most of people wear ‘horon’ costumes, as they dance it. It’s really funny to see thousands dancing the ‘horon’ in a very very long line on the green endless land of mountain pastures. The sound of ‘kemençe’ and ‘tulum’ is heard only, and you let yourself go with the rhythm, starting to take steps regularly and shake your shoulders. The festivals generally last for a month.
All these lines were some basic information about the culture of the Blacksea to give you an impression. Needless to say, you should go see and breathe the air there. Why Blacksea? Because it’s my village, my region. But I would also be pleased, as well, to tell you about any other valuable region of my country another time, if you will…. :)

Another year has flown away..To me, it meant both sadness and happiness. As it was life own, was a part of my life...2009,when I met my 18th birth year, in which I developed from being a child into an adult and came of age.(at least, that’s what science and laws say)

Now, these days, we have just embraced the year ‘2010’. I can see new shinny hopes in people’s eyes. For ages, people always desire fabulous things for new years. As we , humans, never incline to be satisfied with what we have. It’s good to have some purposes ... But it’s really bad when we all get blind , surrounded by them ... Without even living the beauties of today and enjoying it all, we drown in the hurry of life, for our tomorrows !!! No...that’s not for me... I like living my day with every kind of things and different feelings -as I think, working stupidly just for tomorrow makes life monochrome, with no piece of human feelings, and also monotone- but when the day finishes, I like putting my head on my pillow, thinking about no worry of tomorrow... I know, unfortunately, we all have some problems, all kinds of things for tomorrow, nagging us even days and days before... But generally , I do try to control my thoughts in case they run after tomorrow, leaving me all alone with the rest of the day and a stupid, empty brain :)

According to the things I have babbled up to now, I have no serious plan for the new year. I prefer instant arrangements ... So ,in that way, I can find an opportunity to make someone a surprise or receive unexpected things. However, I’m not a one who has no aim from life or who thinks, without knowing how many years left, working and trying to built something is silly. On the contrary, I do have some expectations... And of course, I have a ‘to do’ list :) For my nearest future, 2010, passing my prep. School, I want to start my own department and be very good at software engineering. Maybe in the summer, I can go abroad to practise my English and also to work. Generally , these two are the ones I hope to happen this year. Simply, I like my life and enjoy it. I like every people I have in my life... For them, I also wish happiness, no doubt that seeing them happy will make me happy, too ...

It seems, I’m gonna live my life as usual, and especially after 2009, it’ll get better and better (for some reasons:))

So...my last words ...With every taste of real life, Welcome 2010 !!! :)

SAYING GOOD-BYE TO HIGH SCHOOL
Coming to an end of a journey of four years at high school, I was a bit upset. I could remember the first day there with every details. And then all these withered away very quickly, however, I knew I would always cherish the beautiful memories in my heart. Anyway here was the big day of my graduation, a sad end which also means a hopeful and bright beginning for university. (at least, we all wished it to be so ) I got up late that morning with no hurry and point of excitement. I had planned to go to a coiffeur before, but I didn’t have any urge to go make my hair exaggeratedly elegant and wear too much make-up then. I thought I could do something pretty by myself. Being not hasty, I took a shower and dressed in my black skirt and white shirt, these two were decided by the school, so we didn’t have a chance to choose what to wear, which was completely an absurdity. Then I dried my hair, but unfortunately it seemed very stubborn to have any piece of grace, it was just fuzzy and untidy. Deciding to have it done at school, I left home. Some of girls had already arrived, in the garden were beautiful girls who had dolled themselves up in gaudy clothes, surprisingly they could make white and black extraordinary, with high-heel shoes, which I strongly refuse to wear, instead, I preferred my black sports. I thought it would be a difficult night. It began with a disappointment caused by my hair. Neither me nor my friends managed to do it, although the ceremony was about to start. Finally I backed down and let them go down on my shoulders to my back, which gave me a natural look that seemed a bit weird in all these shinny girls. Anyway … After a while, when the music was played, we, students, were ready in two lines to walk gracefully to our sits. We passed through the multitude of our parents. That time was the one I became excited and it downed on me that I had my last chance to enjoy this atmosphere with all my friends by my side and my family looking at me with great pride in their eyes. After our walk, we sit down and listened quietly to some teachers and other students, telling about the importance of the moment we had. I could feel the eyes on us, as we sit just in the middle of the garden. When the speeches, which seemed to continue forever, were done, we threw our caps up in the air. So we came to the end of the formal ceremony. Then started our real fun. We changed our black and white clothes and worn as we wanted. This time I was in a white dress which was not very chic but was charming , with my pretty white moccasins. The rest of the night was quite enjoyable, pleasant and funny. We danced as much as we could, laughing and talking freely. We took some photos and recorded a video during the night. However, all I got from them is a disappointment. (I always hate posing….lol…) Anyway… Luckily, I have my own good shots in my mind, which will be kept fresh and safe as long as I live. And which will bring a big smile on my face whenever I remember them… :) :) :)

hw : a person I admire....

After seven names, comes the name of ‘Yunus’ on the list of ‘Güneş’ family’s children. However he’s not the last one, he would have a little blond sister, when he was five. Then the members of the family would reach eleven, including the father and the mother.
Yunus had a happy childhood in his crowded family. He was such a clever and smart, but also a bit trouble maker boy, just like every little one. At the age of six, he had already been able to write and read. His success went on at secondary and high school. But unfortunately last years of high school were very difficult. Those days were in 80’s, when a military revolution was brought about in Turkey. As he was trying to study secretly under the weak lights of candles in a small room of their house, which they had just moved in from their village in Trabzon selling all their houses, lands and fields there, the sound of anarchy was heard in the dark streets of the big city Istanbul. But Yunus didn’t back down, he coped with every problems he faced, and finally succeeded in the university exam. Getting a high mark, he started his education at Istanbul University. However, tumult was everywhere. As soon as he just found himself at university, where he couldn’t get rid of it, an anarchist started thinking about bad plans. First he became his best friend and then made him smoke and play truant usually. Finally Yunus gave up his education, even without completing the first year. At the age of twenty , when his beloved friend stabbed him in his back and run away, it dawned on him that he had made a big mistake. But it wasn’t possible returning back to his education. Because his family needed money those days. Unfortunately he had already lost his chance to make a big career. He had to earn money then. He started a job in their market as a driver. As he hadn’t lost his intelligence yet, he went on and bought his own minibus working between Çağlayan and Topkapı. He developed himself and made good money. He owned a lot of minibuses and houses also. Then he got married and had three children, who he would dedicate himself to give a perfect life to. He would especially care of his children’s education.
My uncle Yunus is now 51 years old. Whenever he remembers his old days, I can see the brightness and proud in his eyes. I really admire the way how he built his life with his own hands. I can say he’s very determined, tolerant and helpful. Determined because he never gives in, tolerant because he listens first and cares other people’s thoughts, helpful because he doesn’t hesitate to find a solution for people’s problems, he does whatever he can.
One day in the future, when I look back, I wish to be proud of my past like him. To live despite everything, to success despite everything, and to smile despite everything….

feeling the death-the hot red liquid

She said “good bye!!!” to him, as she did every morning, like this, with a big smile on her face, and a happy-energetic, even in such early times of morning, voice singing… Then turning back, she opened the door and got out of the car. She was bemused, however, she didn’t show her feelings , as usual. Going around the line between being awake and asleep, with a hard struggle, she had forced herself to finally wake up that morning and set off. That time was the time to leave him and take another bus. There they had just come to the crossroad where she said her “good bye”s every morning.

She started walking to cross the road, deep in thought , looking for something in her bag. But there was a truck coming towards her. Only a screechy horn could she hear and only sharp headlights could she see lastly. Then, she was just like lying high above the clouds , but somewhere behind, something was to appear, like a soft breeze, warm breeze, no, hot breeze….blowing upon her face, near her lips, trying to get inside her, through the rest of her body, starting with her brain, across her throat and down to her organs… Or was it just trying to get out? Was the hell inside her?

She was burning inside… And as the hot red liquid came out ,surrounding her body, in the ways of long lines, she felt hotter and hotter. With painful aches in her body, she tried to touch the hot red liquid… But her skull was smashed, as if it would fall to pieces… She couldn’t dare to move. Then she could clearly feel everything. The hell was in her skull, where her brain was bubbling. The frames coming to her eyes, everywhere went red and more red. Only a newborn, light blue sky could she recognize… Getting unconscious, her eyes let the flames go out, and then, they were, too, in all that hot red liquid. Trying hard to cling to life, the natural desire to live as long as possible, her body endured more a few minutes… Endless pains… The hot red liquid… burning..the flames… And the clock of her struck once more,' now time to go'… Something glided up out of her body, through the first lights of the day in the sky, leaving her peaceful and that time, cold. Then she seemed like a stone. As the hot red liquid made its way onto her body, which was about to be frozen on that shinny but frosty winter morning , and out of the road, she got rid of her pains, and the relaxing cold took the place of the hell inside her… A song background…

“Hello..Goodbye…
Higher you fly in to the world ….
I can see you fly away
I can see the sun upon your face
I can feel your heart and I can hear you cry
And as I fall apart , I learn to fly….”

It was the last “good bye” to him from her…. She was just gone for her longest journey… But that time , it would last more and more than any others….And there was her first “hello” to the lives above the clouds…..

THE SECRET LOVE

She looked at the floor, as soon as his eyes caught her looks. And she blushed again. Her cheeks now seemed even more beautiful in red. She felt very hot. He continued talking..What the hell was he talking about? She could hear only his voice, his clean and soft voice, but wasn’t listening to him, couldn’t recognize the sentences, the words, even the letters…just his voice, like a merry song..She steered her eyes through him once more, that time she thought about his wonderful smile, here he was laughing, but at what? Who knows? Never mind! He was happy and laughing…only that interested her…Upsss…He looked at her again…Suddenly she got frozen, although she was melt inside, couldn’t do anything..But surprisingly, she was bravely looking at him, too…What was happening? Why was she getting hotter and hotter? She was sure she seemed very stupid looking at him in such a way. She thought she wasn’t good enough for him…But in fact, it wasn’t so. Here he was telling something to her, his voice was talking about another hell, but his eyes… were trying to tell something…She drowned into his eyes..She was so dizzy that she couldn’t read them… She couldn’t see they were screaming her name out and saying ‘I’m deeply in love with you!!!...’ He was dying for her. But she couldn’t see…She felt a strong pain in her heart and couldn’t endure anymore. She looked at the floor again…Her fever was getting lower now…